Unshared Joy...

 

Another day, another high,

Excited to share, with a sparkle in my eye.
Told my mother, "I finally wrote,
Published my thoughts and feelings, let them float."

But the first question that came my way—
"Is it private, or can the world see what you say?"

My heart, so eager, sank a bit,
Shattered in silence, piece by bit.

It wasn’t the first time, and I know it won’t be the last,
As this cycle has always repeated, exact same way in the past.

Like that day I wore a dress so bold,
Felt radiant, fierce, fearless, whole.

Showed it to her, hoping she’d see,
The confidence, the joy it sparked in me.
But all she said, without delight,
"Just don’t post it on the Facebook for the world’s sight."

Yet I DID!!!—

made it my pride,
A profile picture, no need to hide.

 

Then came Diwali, the festival of light,
I longed for home, for warmth so bright.

But instead, I heard a whispered fear—
"You're divorced… what will people say and utter?"

Questions, stares, a world unkind,
So they left me alone, out of sight, out of mind.
In a quiet room, far from Doon,
My heart felt dim, unlike the moon.

Tears welled up as lamps were lit,
Firecrackers burst, but I did NOT fit.

I felt out of place all the way..
Still, I tried to understand their way,
They wanted joy, no clouds that day.

They had their son, his family near,
No room for sorrow, no space for fear.
And so I stayed behind the glass,
Watching happiness as it came to pass..

So many moments, hushed and sealed,
When all I craved was my joy to be revealed.

Be it love, relationship, marriage, an outfit, or now my words,
Each time I spoke, their doubts emerged.

My every triumph was met with pause,
As if what I considered my wins..
to them it seems like will expose my flaws.

Were they ashamed? Or simply afraid—
Of a world where Society's opinions invade?
They say a parent's bond is tight,
But where’s the space to share my light?

I've tried to see their point of view,
The fears, the norms and the society, she clings onto.

We come alone, we leave the same,
Some bonds are given, some we claim.
So stand for those you choose to hold,
For they’re the ones worth more than gold.

One path is fate, the other free will,
One by birth, the other fulfilled.

                               ~ By Pahadi Narratives